Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The love test....

‘I love you’...and there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the three most magical words in the world. Now don’t tell me you don’t think they are magical. Even the toughest of sceptics will feel the need to clear his throat after watching Richard Gere ride up in the white limousine to sweep Julia Roberts off her feet with his sincere declaration of love. Even the most hardened of hearts would be melted by the flame of nostalgia when it sees love in action...simply put, love was meant to break walls and soften hard hearts.

It’s quite easy to say those words however but do you actually mean them? Or are you just saying them as a means to an end? Granted, some women say it to get the bucks and some men say it to get the booty but the fact that many people say it and don’t mean it doesn’t nullify its power of love when it is sincere.

As Christians, the greatest challenge we face involves loving other people as much as we love ourselves. But Jesus also knew that it would be the greatest liberating factor of our lives...that’s why he summed up all the Ten Commandments as ‘love the lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbour as you love yourself’. Where there is love, negative emotions like hatred, envy, jealousy, anger and the rest have no room to operate.

When a man loves a woman and vice versa, it’s not in the words so much as it’s in the actions. You can’t love with your lips and not love with your heart; that won’t work. Your heart and your mouth have to be in agreement, like everything else in our walk with God.

I have been asking God for wisdom in all my relationships but especially the one I have been in the past five years. The last thing I or any sane person for that matter would want to do is to get married to the wrong person. In his mercy, God led me to a cell meeting that usually takes place in the area I live and the topic that was discussed was the love test.

How often do we test what we feel for the one we love? How often do we stop to ask ourselves whether our motives are pure or not? How often do we ask ourselves where we are going with the relationships we are in? I’m asking all those who aren’t married yet because the fact about the matter is that the one you choose to tie the knot with can either break you or make you. In world where divorce is becoming something of a word belt title, it is important that we examine our relationships and the motives that drive them.

The love test is a series of questions that make you examine your relationship, your motives and your partner in general. It answered some questions for men and I’m hoping it makes you take a closer look at the nature of your love for your partner. You can do it together if you like and compare answers together; believe me it will give you a lot to talk about!

For the ladies

 What is the character you find most admirable in your partner?

 If the one thing you admired in your partner was taken away, would you still feel the same about him?

 If your partner had no money would you still be with him?

 On a scale of one to ten, how honest are you with your partner?

 Would you willingly submit to your partner at all times?

 If your partner tells you he has cheated on you once in the course of your relationship and is truly repentant about it, would you forgive him and take him back?

 On a scale of one to ten, how honest are you with your partner?

 If the situation called for it, would you be the bread winner of the home without nagging or making your man feel like less of a man?

 How often do you encourage your partner on scale of one to ten?

 How often do you blame him on a scale of one to ten?

For the gents

 Name one physical feature you love the most about your woman

 If that physical feature was no longer there, would the love you feel for her be affected in any way?

 Why do you love her?

 Would you be willing to play the second fiddle in the relationship if the need for doing so arose?

 If she cheated on you and was truly repentant, would you forgive her and take her back?

 State one action that you know will show your woman you love her above yourself

 Have you performed this act before

 On a scale of one to ten, how honest are you with your woman?

 On a scale of one to ten, how often do you encourage her?

 On a scale of one to ten, how often do you blame her for things that go wrong in the relationship?

Explaining the answer to each question will actually help you examine your motives in greater detail. If you are honest enough with your answers and you’re still together after the exercise, then good for you! If not...then you know where you stand and you can move on, trusting God to give you nothing short of the best. Good luck!

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