The last man standing

I wanted to stand over your body and command you back to life. I wanted to play Jesus, but my faith was rifled with strife. All I could do was cry...when you lose someone you thought would live forever, a part of you dies and lives again in a way that makes you see life through new eyes...You live on in my heart Hombre...REST IN PEACE. ETCHED... The memory of you sizzles As pictures of you are burned deep Into the matter of my mind. Clarity is the price I pay For not noticing you were there. Suddenly I can see you laugh In that careless way of yours; You throw back your head and roar Lean forward and clutch your belly with graceful fingers; Suddenly, I can see you saunter Into a room and hold your own in the banter Wit matching wit, Wit surpassing wit, Gay with youth Flushed with the pride of holding your own Against the rising tide. I kind of assumed you would live forever Or at least until my last grandchild Tore out t...

I've been thinking about forgiveness for some time now. More, since I am becoming aware of whom I am in Christ. I used to think I had a forgiving heart when I wasn’t born again. Someone would do something to hurt me and I would just shrug it off and think ‘he didn’t mean it or ‘it’s okay, it doesn’t really matter anyway’. Now that I look back, I realize that I wasn’t forgiving them at all, I was looking for a way to cope with the pain and I inevitably locked all the hurt inside. It was no wonder when I would think the most horrid things each time these people crossed my mind. I would think about mutilation and ways to wreck emotional pain and you can bet I didn’t feel a twinge of remorse about what I was thinking. While some thoughts made me recoil, I didn’t really make even a half hearted attempt to stop them. Lately, God has been bringing to my mind all the people I thought I had forgiven. Now I realize that I truly need to forgive and not make a semblance of forgiveness...